


In Which Enjolras Has A Big Flag (And more Sexual Innuendos)

by thepeopletoomustrise



Series: In Which Enjolras ____ [2]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: ERRYWHERE, Gen, Kink Meme, M/M, Sexual innuendos, les mis kink, oh man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-05 03:25:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepeopletoomustrise/pseuds/thepeopletoomustrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for this prompt:<br/>"Courfeyrac (and any other Amis you want) decides to see how many penis jokes he can make in a single conversation before Enjolras notices it."<br/>It gets out of hand. I'm so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Enjolras Has A Big Flag (And more Sexual Innuendos)

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt is from the LM Kink Meme 3, page 27. My last Innuendo fic got such a encouraging response that I just went at it! (Pun intended.) 
> 
> Oh man.

It had been a normal meeting of Les Amis a few minutes ago. 

A few minutes, everyone had been mellow, and intelligent conversation flowed through the room as much as Grantaire’s alcohol flowed into his mouth. 

But that was before Enjolras had snapped at one of the younger, nameless Amis who had been complaining about having to redo a mistake-ridden pamphlet he had just finished. 

“Oh, suck it up, for the sake of Revolution!” 

“I would gladly _suck it up_ for the sake of the revolution,” was what Courfeyrac had said under his breath, but it had been enough to spark an entirely new and entertaining game for the rest of the men. 

(The see-if-Enjolras-is-really-as-naïve-as-we-think-he-is game.)

“How are flag distribution coming along, Combeferre?” he said later, turning to his friend and away from the chuckling Courfeyrac. 

“Oh, they’re _coming_ all right.” Grantaire chuckled quietly as Combeferre added, “Although some men are unhappy with the _size of their flag_.”

Enjolras gaped, shaking his head in dismay. “Unhappy with the size of their flag? Ah! They are to wave it as a symbol of pride when we march alongside Lamarque’s funeral procession- how _big_ do they expect them to be?” 

“Well, you know how men are odd when it comes to the _size_ of their _flags_. Don’t you worry- _your flag is by far the largest_.” 

“How petty of them! I don’t care how big my flag is!”

“That’s what they all say,” Grantaire chuckled with a burp. Enjolras scowled, his annoyance growing on him. 

“What is important that a flag is distributed to everyone, regardless of size. If they are unhappy, remind them that significance lies not in the fabric of the flag, but in what is symbolizes; freedom.” 

It was quiet for a moment. 

“I do think _my flag_ is a perfect fit,” Grantaire mused, and then turned to Enjolras with a smirk, “Although I’d rather have yours.” 

“You cannot have my flag, Grantaire!” he frowned, shaking his head in distaste. He watched as the man took another swig of his drink. “Do you ever put that bottle down?” 

“I do, but I prefer to have _something in my mouth._ ”

Enjolras still didn’t get it.

Soon, the men in the room had gone back to their normal groups to partake in minor debates regarding politics, and the leader sat in the middle with a few of his friends, reading an article of some sort. It was Courfeyrac who had interrupted his friend’s concentration, deciding to put their little game to good use. “Enjolras, I believe a few of us have been thinking a few... things/... lately,” he asked innocently, blinking his eyes at his lovely friend. Enjolras was unchanged. “May I say something?”

“You needn’t ask permission to ask in the first place, Courfeyrac; it defeats the purpose of asking.” 

“It seems to me the lesson was a little _flaccid,_ ” he said, which caught the attention of Enjolras, who seemed to be rather distracted with another conversation in the Musain. It also caught the attention of Grantaire, who had been listening distantly from the other side of the table.

The leader scowled, and stared at him in disappointment. “Are you calling my speech on the power of the People 'dull'? Courfeyrac, it is not the matter of the excitement of the speech, but the lesson itself. You know that.” 

“I’m not calling it dull, Enjolras. I’m saying that you seem to be under a bit of stress, which made your speech a little less riveting than usual. Is everything right with you? Your prose was _thicker_ than it tends to be.” 

Combeferre had come up behind the two, swallowing piece of bread and making his way to sit down alongside Courfeyrac. 

“Stress comes with the role, Courfeyrac,” he hissed, rolling his eyes quiet directly at his friend. Enjolras didn’t know what to say. He was evidently uncomfortable with his friends’ efforts to assist him, and although kind, he wanted no part in it. There was simply no pride in admitting that you could not take care of yourself while trying to lead a group of men in such a large spectacle as Revolution. There was no time. 

“I’m sure many things _come_ with the role,” Combeferre had butted in now, wagging his finger in Enjolras’ direction, “but Enjolras, you really must rest on occasion. You’re burning yourself out; _working yourself dry._ ”

Both men chuckled, and their leader eyed them suspiciously. 

“I’m fine!” 

“I realize this is a rather _hard_ topic for us to bring up, but Enjolras, we’re concerned. You’re awfully stressed.” 

“I am capable of handling myself,” He insisted, his tone growing lower. The three men were still sitting around the table, and Enjolras looked like he was about to stand up and leave. 

“I’m sure you’re capable of _handling yourself_ just fine,” Courfeyrac said, and he felt Combeferre’s elbow whack him under the table. “But that doesn’t mean we cannot care for you, too. We are your friends, you know. Don’t let what we’re saying, you know… _rub you the wrong way._ ” 

Grantaire, who had moved into the circle of their conversation, snorted against the bottle he was holding to his lips. 

Combeferre picked up Courfeyrac’s point, “We’re not saying you’ve gone soft or anything, Enjolras. We’re just making sure everything’s all right. You’ve ought to let yourself rest. If you want more help- or for us to _give you a hand_ , do not hesitate to ask.”

The blonde man sighed, shaking his head in clear defiance, “You all should not be concerned with me right now; the Revolution is afoot and we are to put all of our energy towards it. Not silly human functions, such as sleep or my personal stress level. I’ll sleep when France is free.” 

Courfeyrac nodded, and it was quiet for a moment. Grantaire, though, seemed to want to join in the game as well. “Let him alone, men; he’s just busy with the stress that comes with the barricade. It’s so close _he can taste it._ ”

Combeferre choked on his bread. 

“Don’t speak for me, Grantaire,” Enjolras spat, irritated-- although he did have a valid point. 

“Yeah, Grantaire,” Courfeyrac said, stifling a laugh. “And I thought you were _sliding into_ this discussion with something important to say.” Even Grantaire laughed, and Enjolras was still there, defensive and oblivious. 

“I’m fine!” Enjolras interrupted, still bothered at their attempts to console him. “I understand your concern, but I am taking care of my wellbeing constantly and dependably. There is no need to worry. I’m on top of things.” 

“I’m sure you are,” Grantaire mumbled with a smirk. 

“So, you’re saying that with all you’ve been doing to lead The Cause, you have had time to take care of yourself? I find that one _hard to swallow_ ,” Combeferre spoke again with skepticism, watching his friend curiously. Enjolras was fuming.

“Now, now,” Grantaire interjected, sliding closer to the men’s conversation at the table. “This is a hard conversation to _stay on top of_. We mustn’t harass dear Enjolras.” 

“That’s right,” the leader barked, flustered with his friend’s embarrassing amount of care for him. “Enough of this.” 

A pause.

“You know what you are, Enjolras?” 

“What!” 

“You’re just too cocky to let us help,” Courfeyrac said, and Enjolras was rolling his eyes once again. “You have to admit that you have no idea how to handle yourself.” 

“Courfeyrac!” Combeferre feigned a gasp, his eyes twinkling. “ _Butt out_ of this!”

The boys’ sides were shaking in an attempt to hold back laughter.

“I apologize. My point is,” he took a gentler approach, looking back at Enjolras, “if the need for help _arises_ , we are all here. We know just how hard you work.”

“We’re your friends; we’re here to help you in any way possible.” 

“…Even if it involves something as elementary as _raising your flag,_ ” Grantaire added, and Enjolras looked at him strangely. “Yes, if you need any help raising your flag- any help at all- I’m your man to call. I know all about how to raise flags, and _make sure they stay up_ \- you needn’t worry about that.”

“Oh, enough about the flags, Grantaire!” Enjolras was exasperated and done with the conversation.

The drunkard chuckled. “Flags! You think I’m talking about flags!”

Combeferre’s hand was over his mouth. Courfeyrac had stopped trying to stifle his laughter a while ago. 

“You said flags, you idiot! What are you, an infant?” 

“Did someone say flags?” Marius butted into the conversation, now, which sent Courfeyrac howling in laughter. “I think the flag sizes are fine as they are.”

The table was shaking with the laughter that left both Marius and Enjolras confused, and they had to wait it out for a few moments, staring at each other, lost. 

“Hey Enjolras!”

“What now, Grantaire?!” Enjolras turned to the man next to him, snapping. 

“You have the _biggest flag_ , correct?” More laughter. 

“I don’t know! What does it matter?!” 

“Well, either way... _I’d give you more than a night at the Opera_ , now.” 

It was then when Enjolras realized that the flags they were talking about were not actually flags. 

And it was then when Grantaire was shoved off his chair.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I know, I know- it stretches the limit of their era a little bit. This is really just for fun.
> 
> Okay, this is random but pretty much all of my fics have been based on ridiculous prompts (gloriously ridiculous!) but now I'm considering doing a legitimate multi-chaptered fic. (And if you want to let me know that you'd be interested, that's always nice. Ha.)
> 
> You guys are so lovely! Thank you for taking the time to leave feedback/kudos! I LOVE THIS FANDOM OK


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